Marketing Disasters for Young and Old

PMT 2013:12b by Kenneth L. Gentry, Jr.

Below is a humorous tale of marketing Postmilllennialism Today.

Marketing is a tricky business and sometimes does not result in the payoff you are seeking. In fact, a poor marketing strategy can cause you to lose money in your investment. Consider the early marketing failure for selling Sushi. The ads said: “Come, and get some cold, raw, dead fish.” Needless to say, they experienced less than stellar results. In fact, the results were even less than lunar. And most were even sub-tropical.

I myself have experienced a marketing debacle that cost me a lot of money and had poor results. I paid a local high school to open their football games on Friday nights with a cheer that promotes my new web blog: www. PostmillennialismToday . com. Sounded like a good, effective, and innovative idea at the time. But it was a disaster.

The cheerleaders led this cheer:

Give me a “W”
Give me a “W”
Give me a “W”
Give me a dot
Give me a P
Give me an O
Give me an S
Give me a T
Give me an M
Give me an I
Give me an L
Give me an L
Give me an E
Give me an N
Give me an N
Give me an I
Give me an A
Give me an L
Give me an I
Give me an S
Give me an M
Give me a T
Give me an O
Give me a D
Give me an A
Give me Y
Give me a dot
Give me a C
Give me an O
Give me an M
And what have you got?

Unfortunately, the cheer took so long, the fans forgot what it was spelling and demanded a re-cheer. After the second time, they fared no better and began expressing frustration and disappointment bordering on despair. This not only tended to make them restive but got the home team a delay-of-game penalty and numerous threats of reprisal.

To make matters worse, according to Google Analytics, all of this seems to have tamped down enthusiasm for my web blog. I have noticed that not one fan at the ball game visited my site. In fact, neither did two. Or three. And using the same numerical progression you could increase the number to the full count of those in the stadium and end up with the same result. Nothing.

Be warned: Going into unexplored waters in marketing is like going out on a high wire without a net. Or any of the other Mouseketeers.

I said all that to say this: my Facebook friends will all have to go to PostmillennialismToday without cheer. However, if enough of you go, I will reward them by posting a picture of what I had for lunch today. But if they do not, I will post pictures of ALL of my meals today and will continue to do so for each of the next seven days until you beg for mercy. Dr. Gentry shows no mercy.

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4 thoughts on “Marketing Disasters for Young and Old

  1. Richard Brown October 11, 2013 at 6:33 am

    Please don’t punish those of us (ok, only me) who have replied.

  2. Kenneth Gentry October 11, 2013 at 8:39 am

    Your sins are forgiven. Go, and sin no more.

  3. FrPhil down under... December 24, 2013 at 10:10 am

    Maybe this should have been …
    “…Your sins are forgiven. Come and buy some more.”

  4. Kenneth Gentry December 24, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    Or better: “Your debts are forgiven. Come and buy some more.”

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